


Restless moonlight

by hollyhock (willowthorn)



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Adhd sucks sometimes, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15197552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowthorn/pseuds/hollyhock
Summary: Left alone with his overly busy mind, Mako finds himself frustrated and unable to sleep. Luckily, Cass is there to help him relax.





	Restless moonlight

It wasn't unusual for any of them to have sleepless nights. The things they had said, how they had acted when they hadn't known what they knew now - when they were still foolish and bright-eyed, and only had a little bit of blood on their hands. They could never take those things back. Not now, not ever. So when Cass was woken by Mako shifting, restless as a city under fire, Cass could only sigh and wonder if it was going to be one of Those nights. 

What they found instead of the heavy grief they expected was a tense Mako, wound tight from persistently reaching for a goal only to fail time and time again. They knew this look by now. Far from a night stolen by ghosts, this was purely Mako and his ever active mind. 

"Mako…." Cass propped themself on their elbow, already knowing how this would go. 

"Shit, did I wake you? I'm sorry, I swear I'm trying to sleep but it just! Keeps not happening!" Mako wasn't even looking at them as he gestured, brow furrowed. "I tried that deep breathing shit you always tell me to do, but I swear I'm forgetting a step or something cause it just isn't working which is bullshit! Because it always works when I do it with you!" His voice was pitching louder, his leg kicking out from their sheets. 

"Mako, it's ok. I'm glad you tried, and I'm glad you woke me." Slow, gentle tones. Their voice was soft, more appropriate for the hour. The sooner this was over, the sooner the both of them could sleep. 

"I don't know why you always let me sleep here, you need waaay more sleep than me, and this happens like, what, once a month? At least? And-" Still avoiding eye contact, but at least now Mako was more or less facing them. His voice didn't pitch any higher, his gestures less wild. Good. 

"Mako, you're being stupid. I want you here, and I want us /both/ to sleep." God, they wished they could just clock out right now. It was a selfish, simple wish, flitting into their mind unbidden. They knew Mako didn't do this on purpose.

"And you keep on using that fucking asmr voice. God. You shouldn't /have/ to use that on me, it's so stupid, I should just… sleep in my own room tonight or something, I don't know… I'm sorry, you go back to bed and I'll go and it'll be fine." He didn't want to leave, he really didn't. He always felt so much calmer with Cass around, and he knew the second he was up and moving then it'd be another hour at least until he finally felt sleepy enough to try the deep breathing thing again, and then he'd be out of it the whole next day, and what of shit went down and oh my God Cass still wasn't sleeping, what if -

"Mako you're making a big deal out of nothing. I promise." Cass was sitting up fully now, legs crossed and hands resting in their lap. It looked like he had worked out a good chunk of energy catosphrasising a little bit of sleep loss. They'd take it. They'd worry about the rest later. "Come over here."

"…Are we going to do that breathing thing?" Mako wiggled over, slumping his face over Cass' legs. 

"Nope, I'm going to rewire that brilliant brain of yours." Cass couldn't help but chuckle at the momentary sour look that crossed Mako's face before the human shrugged, shifting again to rest his head properly, gazing up at Cass with nothing but trust in his eyes. "My brain's all yours - gotta warn you though, there's some wild shit in there so…"

"I'll be careful." Cass gently moved Mako's hair, long fingers stroking slowly, scratching lightly behind his ear. "What were you thinking about, earlier?" Mako was always thinking something, rings layered on rings of circular thought, jumps in logic and free association bringing him to conclusions so sideways of his initial point it was both amazing and, Cass had to admit, sometimes a little hard to follow. 

"Ok, first of all I was thinking, y'know, I'm not sure I checked my messages today, and then I remembered that I for sure didn't, cause I was checking out this cool new game and - Oh man, you know they're bringing back this candy I used to really like back on September? But no, like, it was sort of this homage to this thing from like, ten years ago - I don't know if you know it but…" Cass hummed, letting the words wash over them, only half listening for anything that would need to be remembered when they both awoke. There was real worry there, wound through this and that - worry about forgetting a minor detail, worry about not being enough despite being one of the brightest people Cass had ever known, and frustration born from wishing things could be just a bit easier, more linear, more in line with how everyone else's brain seemed to work. It wasn't uncommon with people like him, this rumination, and Mako had so much charisma that it was so, so easy to miss. But it was there, as much as Cass wished it wasn't. They let their fingers dig in a little more, gentle pressure on the temples, circling slowly before dragging back, working through slight knots. They could hear Mako's tone start to even out, and eventually, start to dip away. At least when it came to this Cass knew exactly how to help.

"So then, I… I, um… Cass, you're really good at this you know?" Mako dropped his hands, looking up with those beautiful clear eyes, his smile soft and just on the right side of sleepy. 

"I know. I'm a gift." Cass hummed, stilling their movement for a moment. "Feeling better?"

"So much better." Now that all those thoughts had found their home in the open air they had stopped cluttering his mind so he could finally focus on more important things, like Cass' hands, or Cass' hands, or even Cass' hands. God they felt good. Just the right amount of pressure, the occasional scratch of their nails sending shivers down his spine. Mako couldn't help but melt. "You're the best, Cass. How do you know all this anyway?"

"Mm… ancient Apostolistian wisdom." 

"Holy shit, really?" Mako says, leaving those beautiful hands behind so he could turn and look at Cass at eye level.

"No." Cass leaned forward, gently kissing Mako's cheek. "I just know you. Think you can sleep now?"

"Awh, love you too buddy. Aaannnnd….. maybe? I dunno though, I can't think about anything but your hands right now." Mako flopped down, arms behind his head as he considered. That passed soon enough, and as soon as Cass laid down to join him, he was pressed against his side. "Hey, gimme one of your hands." His voice was softer now, a bit more than a whisper against Cass' chest. They sighed, reaching over to place their hand in Mako's. 

Mako's touch is attentive, his lightly calloused fingers running over the lines of Cass' palms, pressing slightly into the webbing between their fingers, stretching slightly before soothing out, watching the ambient light of the ship and the stars catch in the membrane. Cass' hands had always been strong and steady, nicked with small fading scars. Mako lingered on some - the arch just shy of where the mound of their thumb meets the curve of his wrist, the sharp arrow-like shape of another far too close to a knuckle, just above where webbing met muscle. He pulled gently on their fingers, Cass sighing softly. It felt nice, being paid attention to like this. It wasn't long before Mako made to move to their other hand, pressing a kiss into their palm before setting their hand down.

"Is this payback for the head massage?" Cass asked, amusement creeping into their voice. "Or am I just lucky?"

"Mm… nah I just wanted to play with your hands. I'm gonna give you the /best/ blowjob tomorrow once we wake up payback wise. Head for head, y'know?" Mako was kissing their wrists, moving slowly up their forearm as he talked. 

"You're incorrigible." Cass muttered, the fainted hint of a blush lighting up their cheeks. 

"You love me." Mako finally put their arms down, snuggling up to plant a kiss on Cass' cheek.

"Go to sleep, Mako." Cass wrapped their arms around the smaller man, nuzzling into his fluffy hair. 

"Not until you say you looooove me." Mako cooed, squeezing slightly. 

"I love you, and your weird brain. Now get to sleep."

"Riiiight." It wasn't long before Cass could feel Mako's breath start to slow, his heartbeat falling into rhythm with their own. Cass was nearly asleep again themself when they heard it, words breathed against their chest. 

"Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> Night time, for how my adhd works, is both the best and the worst. My filters start to break down, and the more I force myself to focus during the day the more my mind wanders. This means I can either get a good creative kick going, or I can just travel down a deep path of insecurity. Sometimes, just getting it out does genuinely help. Other times, not so much. This really isn't unusual, but is annoying. Luckily none of my partners have caught me in the middle of those nights. Unfortunately for Mako I've opted to voice some of my frustrations through him.


End file.
